HH The engagement

The Engagement

Father and I stepped into the vestibule that served as their office at the same time. My heart was pounding. Susanna, her mother and brother and sisters were all gathered there and greeted us. They then all left except Susanna and her mother.

I stepped in front of Susanna, took her right hand and asked, “Will you be my loving wife and, with God’s help, be true and loving in our marriage, in good days as in bad until death do us part? I promise you I will love you and be faithful to you until death parts us.” Susanna said, “Yes, I will do so.” We squeezed our hands and gave each other our first kiss. Then I took her hand and stepped in front of her mother and said, “Will you accept me as your son in your family? I will love you and care for you as much as God our Lord gives me strength and health until death doth part us.” She took me in her arms and kissed me. Then we stepped in front of my father and asked him, “Will you accept and take Susanna as your new daughter and give us your blessing for our marriage, because the blessings of the father build their children’s home?”  Father was glad to do it and kissed Susanna. The mother sent us into the living room. There I told Susanna, “Now let us kneel down and ask for the blessings of God our Father and Jesus Christ in our marriage. We asked God the Father, Jesus Christ our Savior and the Holy Ghost to bless our marriage and always be the first and not the last in our union.” . 

This triunion has lasted throughout our lives. We never had to regret this oath. The Lord has led us through wealth and hard and dark days, through hunger, sickness and health.  And we were of the chosen few that could come to this wonderful country (Canada) with all our children, out of a land of anarchy and antichrist into a land where we were able to raise our children in the fear of God. The Lord be thanks.

We hugged and kissed as  suppose all fianced young people do. Soon we were called to dinner where Susanna’s sisters and brother congratulated us and accepted me into the family.

That was our engagement. No other celebrations with relatives and friends took place. Bishop Betkaw was very upset that no preacher or neighbors had been invited. Then my father informed me that he had to leave on Monday as he had to be at a fair in Melitopol on Tuesday. It was a disappointment for me, as I would have liked to have stayed longer. As an obedient son, I agreed, but promised Susanna that I would be back soon. There I learned the best and shortest road back. We arrived the same day, without any further trouble back home on Reimerhof.

Trofin informed me that all employees at the Friesen estate were full of praise about Susanna and said she was the best of all the daughters of the house.

Tuesday, Father and I drove to Melitopol to the fair. Here we met Dietrich and Jacob Wiebe of Lichtenfeld and told him of the latest news that I had been engaged to their cousin Susanna Friesen. They were very happy about it and told us that Susanna was their favorite cousin. They warmly congratulated me. At night, we drove back to Reimerhof again. The very next day I took a train to Charkov to purchase all the groom’s presents.

For Susanna, I bought a golden Moser watch with a long gold chain, and a pendant with rubies and sapphires that she could wear around her neck. Also a broach in the form of lilies of the valley with inset jewels. To this a diamond engagement ring. For myself, I also bought a gold Moser watch and a silver watch chain. I also bought a gold wedding band that I gave her later at the wedding. For the unmarried sisters-in-law and for mother-in-law, I also purchased a number of nice gifts. For my stepmother, I bought a Tarakotta figurine of an older lady held by her son-in-law around her shoulder, he holds a fat cigar in his hands between his fingers. I liked his artistic figurine so much and I wanted to show my stepmother my appreciation for having been a mother to me and my sister Helene. I think she liked it too and was glad about it. For my uncle David, I bought a silver head for a cane, although I have never seen him using one.

From Charkov, I sent a telegram to Mr. Engbrecht at Smolenskaya to send me transportation to Milozadowka, the railroad station. He sent me a covered coach, drawn by a pair of large black horses. On the way back to Smolenskaya, I noticed one of the horses kicked over his traces and then right back into position again. He did this off and on. Later at the property division of Smolenskaja, I became owner of that horse and soon found out that he was extremely ticklish. As soon as the lines happened to cross his back, he would kick.

Susanna was very happy to see me so soon again. She was also very pleased with the presents I bought.

Now all the wedding plans were made. Whom all we had to see on our trip to all the relatives and when the wedding was to be. All the engagement cards had to be sent out to all the relatives. The family did not want a large wedding as they were still tired from her sister Tina’s wedding to G. Harder that had been very big just the previous year. It had taken too much out of them. The mother would like it to be on the 24th of May as it too was her wedding day. I was agreeable as I could not imagine that it would be unsuitable for anyone. My stepmother was hurt because she had not been consulted beforehand. My smaller brother and sisters had the mumps at the time. Therefore, she could not attend it. I was very sorry about it but in the long run one had to accept what was most convenient to the family of the bride-to-be. This puts a light cloud over our happiness. But nothing could be done about it at that point and it had to go as planned.

Our first trip as an engaged couple we made by train to my parents in Reimerhof because I had left my car there when I went to Charkow to purchase the wedding presents, and went from there directly to Friesental to present my gifts. A coach had been sent to Melitotpol to pick us up.

We were greeted very heartedly by my parents and brothers and sister on our arrival. Susanna had an uncle Isaak Dick in Altonan, our neighboring village whom she wished to see. There we were going to go by coach. As I went to the stables to inspect our bridal team, I was shocked to see a couple of grays standing in the stalls. Now where had Jashma and Juhon gone? I had taken it for granted to use them on our trips. During my absence, father had sold them along with another black gelding to the Crimea and had received only 1,100 Rbl. for them. I was very disappointed that I had expected to drive a team of our own line and I told father so.

Now he gave me a team of unknown heritage. Although they were not bad. But my pride had suffered and I never liked them. This short trip to Altonan was the only trip we made with the grays.

The horses father had sold were still descendants of the famous old Herbonostes. All sons of hers were sold to breed and all daughters were kept by father to improve his strain and breed. And it is one of the reasons why father’s breed were all so much alike. Jashm was her last son and Jahon was a son of one of her daughters. He had such soft hair that a teacher of the sisters called him the velvet horse. The old Herbanostes was almost 30 years-of-age and had a foal every year. Jashma was her last foal and when he was weaned she came running from the field and fell and broke her neck. She was dead instantly.

It was a custom that the young couple visit each relative and stay at least for one meal at each place. We made these trips by car. We visited Johawa Dicks in Morgenau, aunt Helena Wiebe, Lichtfeld, Peter Dicks, Alexanderhron, aunt Agnes Reimer, Juschanlee and uncle David Klassen and grandfather D. Friesen in Altenan. Then we also had to see grandfather Dirks in Gnadenfeld so that our marriage could be announced from the pulpit in the church to which I belonged. I also asked him to come to the wedding and marry us. He accepted.

I was always sorry afterward that we did not go to Jegorlizkoje to see uncle Gerhard Klassen and at the same time see my birthplace and the cemetery where my beloved mother and grandfather were buried. We could also have made a honeymoon trip by boat down the Dnieper to Cherson (Kerson?) and also went to the south coast of the Crimea as Susanna was always so impressed with everything beautiful and good. It would have been a wonderful and lasting experience for her as she had never been on a boat trip until our immigration to Canada across the Atlantic, which was not very nice for her as she was sick all the way and had to stay in bed.

I took Susanna back to Friesenthal and let Trofin drive all the way. It gave him more experience and since he was an excellent coachman he also learned to drive the car very well in a short time. Especially crossing the walkways through the village. Not everyone could drive over them smoothly without going bumpity bump

From Friesental, we also had to go and see the Bishop of the Nurchoutizer congregation, the Rev. Retkan as Susanna belonged to that church and he had his own orthodox ideas in respect to marriages and engagements. He almost annulled our engagement as it had taken place only in the close family circle without a preacher or friends and neighbors present. We also had to be presented at the church. He then asked us who would perform the marriage. When we told him it would be my grandfather Bishop and Missionary Dirks, he kept quiet. As he had too much respect for him, he did not dare oppose it. If it had been anyone else, we could have expected a long sermon from him.  His house was different from all the others in the village. It was built like an American log cabin with the planks one on top of the other without studs. The windows also could be raised and lowered in the sash. 

Susanna wanted to get her trousseau ready and had engaged a seamstress in Gulaipoli to sew some dresses and laundry. I too wanted to get a new long coat suit so I drove back home.

The time for the wedding came close, maybe another week or so. I drove to Ekaterinoslav where I engaged a firm to supply us with fireworks and an expert to shoot the rockets for the wedding for 200 rubles.

Susanna came along and ordered the corsages for the ladies. It was customary that the groom pay for the flowers and the drinks while the parents’ of the bride furnish the meal. Since it was to be only a small wedding, invitations were only sent to the uncles and aunts with their unmarried children.